When I started working out, I wasn’t thinking about calories or beauty or long-term health. What brought me together was a very simple thing: I wanted to be able to do things.
I remember standing under the lift, barely able to put my chin on it. I would jump, lower myself a little, hang for a few seconds longer than before. I was not in a hurry to get tired. I was chasing that first clean attorney.
The same thing happens with pistol squats. At first, I would fall backwards or fall to the ground. But every effort taught me something. My balance improved. My control has improved. And finally, what seemed impossible became possible.
Looking back, I realize that I was building something that sports psychologists now describe as the foundation of long-term motivation: intelligence.
At that time, I didn’t have my own language. I just knew I was more excited about unlocking a skill than a “good workout.”
From Pull-Ups to Jiu-Jitsu: The Pattern Remained
As my training took place, the pattern repeated itself.
When I felt that handstands, it wasn’t because they burned a lot of calories. It was because they needed precision, alignment and patience. I could measure progress in seconds and inches. The smallest improvement felt meaningful.
Boxing was the same. A combination of learning, improving over time, feeling my connections sharpen within weeks instead of days.
More recently, jiu-jitsu has become the most powerful example of this pattern. When I narrowed my focus to specific techniques—like refining my tight triangle—my motivation increased dramatically. Even if I was tired or stressed, I still wanted to train because I wanted to improve that one thing.
That is the difference between exercise and training.
Exercise can be random. Training has direction.
And direction changes everything.
Why Mastery Fuels Motivation
In psychology, there is a well-established framework called Self-Determination Theory, which suggests that people are most motivated when three basic needs are met: autonomy, relatedness, and competence. Competence—the feeling that you are getting better at something—is powerful.
We are bound to want to grow. Not just effort, but improvement.
When you prioritize your fitness, you create a loop: you train, you get feedback, you adjust, you improve (even if only slightly), and that improvement strengthens your desire to keep going. Your brain rewards progress. Small gains are important because they show that your effort is going somewhere.
Without that loop, exercise can start to feel empty. You show up, sweat, leave, repeat. There is no narrative. There is no arc. There is no sense of building something.
This is one of the biggest reasons people quit. They rely on consistency or novelty to keep them engaged. They try new classes, new programs, new challenges. But youth is fading. Fatigue accumulates. And if there is no skill that underpins the process, motivation is weak.
When you train for your first pull-up, it doesn’t matter if you “feel like it” that day. You want to see if you can last long. Want to check if you’re around. A goal pulls you forward.
For me, that improvisational curiosity has carried me through stages where pure discipline may not be enough.
How to Build Your Own Mastery Loop
The good news is that you don’t need to be an elite athlete to build this loop. You just need something specific to get better at.
It can be a drag. A handstand. A fast mile. Clean push-ups. Kettlebell skill. A difficult transition.
The key is to narrow your focus long enough to see measurable progress. Instead of changing your workout every week, commit to one skill for four to six weeks. Follow it. Read it. Again. Let yourself care about the details.
Mastery turns fitness from something you force yourself to do into something you build.
It creates a story line. There is a past version of you, a present version, and a future version that can do things you can’t do right now.
That is compelling.
For me, this has been a thread that connects all stages of my athletic life, from my first attempts at grappling to the refinement of technical details in jiu-jitsu. I didn’t stay like that because I was disciplined in an unusual way. I stayed the same because I always had something that was a little out of reach.
And getting a little better is one of the most motivating things there is.
If you’ve been struggling to stay consistent, it may not be because you lack motivation. It might be because you don’t have a target.
Choose something to study well. Take your time. Let progress pull you forward.
That’s a loop.
