“Look at the obvious answer” was a fourtune cookie I found at my local restaurant. It’s something we often miss when we’re under the gun. We think in black and white.
When we are in a good mood we can think creatively. But sometimes it’s hard, isn’t it?
Let me guess your Monday morning.
87 illegible emails – three labeled “urgent” completely contradicted. Back to back meetings with zero time to get work done.
At your first team meeting, Sarah mentions that she’s “fighting a little bit” but won’t elaborate. James seems paralyzed. Maria asks about the project priorities you answered last week.
At lunch, you’ve resolved a conflict, been asked to do the impossible, and found another delayed schedule no one told you about.
Skip lunch to catch up. At 3 pm you are mentally exhausted for the next four hours.
Sound familiar?
Here’s what no one tells you when you become a manager: You are now carrying 59% higher demands than your team, yet you will receive 12% less support.
You’re the meat on your Sandwich-Shicating Team from Chaos while taking on the relentless pressure from above.
The invisible weight managers carry
After interviewing 80+ senior leaders for the CEO PODcast Podcast, I noticed a troubling pattern:
You put on a brave face while secretly wondering how you’re going to do all the work. You solve everyone’s problems while your daily stressors add up.
And you say to yourself: “I’m a manager. I should be able to manage this.”
But here is the brutal truth: 55% of managers are actively looking for new jobs. About half said they would quit within a year.
I know this feeling with intimacy. As a VP at a global consulting firm, I thought I should organize my own press release. I stopped exercising, stopped quality family time, stopped seeing friends.
The burning subsides quickly. After that a very long episode of depression.
Self-care isn’t selfish – it’s smart
During recovery, my psychiatrist Dr. Robert Fisher taught me something that changed everything: “You can learn to manage – yes your master – your situation.”
Research shows that people with positive emotions are 31% more productive and 37% more influential. When you are in the “green zone” – Giving, energy, intelligence, you are a better leader, partner, parent and friend.
Your life is contagious
Here’s a game-changing insight: You influence 70% of your team’s well-being and engagement.
Not HR policies. Not company benefits. You.
When you model healthy leadership—taking breaks, setting boundaries, prioritizing well—you create permission for your team to do the same.
When you are working on the ground, your advice team. They see you skipping lunch, answering emails at 11 pm, looking tired. And they thought: “That’s what success looks like here.”
Small changes, big impact
My recovery started with small steps. A fifteen minute walk every day. Reconnecting with friends, even if I didn’t feel like it. Always, I felt better after that.
Research by Professor Peter Golwitzer shows that if you make a decision where you are going to do it, you are 300% more likely to follow through. Not “I have to use more,” but “Tuesdays and Thursdays at 7 a.m., I’ll walk for 20 minutes.”
Three questions to ask yourself this week
- When was the last time you took a proper lunch break? Not eating at your desk – a real break.
- What made you stop doing it? Morning walk? Coffee with friends? Reading before bed?
- If you don’t make time for self-care now, what will you do? After the next project? When things calm down? (It won’t.) After the heat? (Late.)
Future Choices
Teams led by managers who prioritize well-being see 26% higher engagement and 21% higher productivity.
Most importantly, you become a manager people want to work for. One that adjusts to continuous high performance. One that is still standing – and thriving – five years from now.
You can’t control budget cuts, corporate politics, or market volatility.
But you can control how you show up each day. You can choose to put fuel in your tank first.
Because if you are in Une Zone-Enernerg with energy, clear head, stamina – you have a lot to give.
And that is not selfish. That is the obvious answer.
Leadership.
